How much stress can one Mama handle?

It's been a while since my last post, I'm sorry for that. Things have been pretty crazy in my household and I've not been handling it very well. I mentioned before on Twitter and Facebook that we had to move because of money issues, we had to down size from a 3 bedroom house with a huge back yard to a 2 bedroom apartment in a complex. To make things worse, we could not take any of our beloved pets with us. We searched for a while for a place that would let us bring them but they all either said not (flat out or because of breeds...BSL really needs to stop) or we could not afford the extra rent they asked. Finally we couldn't wait any longer and had to move, re-homing 2 large dogs and 3 cats is not easy at all.

Floyd (5 year old cat) found a home with friends fairly quick but our other two cats sadly ended up in the shelter where I work and are still waiting to be adopted (if your looking for a cat and are in the Philadelphia area email me epictalesftm@gmail.com). It kills me to see them here everyday.

Deuce (12 year old Chow mix) already had some old man problems and in the process of trying to find him a home his back legs started to give out and sometimes he could not get up at all so Hubby and I made the heartbreaking decision to have him humanely euthanized. It was the worst day of my life and I don't think I've ever cried so much, it was about 3 weeks ago and I still cry all the time. I asked one of my managers at work to do it so it was less impersonal, Hubby and I were with him the entire time and he died looking into my eyes with my arms wrapped around him. I'm seriously crying right now as I type this. Deuce and I went through a lot together and he got me through some pretty tough times in my life, I've had him since before I was with Hubby. To make things worse, I didn't realize Hubby had never seem an animal euthanized before, it's hard enough to watch when you know what to expect but he went into it totally blind. I wish I would have known so I could have at least explained the process to him, he said he can never watch that again. I don't blame him. Having Deuce put to sleep was the kindest thing I could do for him and I know he's waiting for me in the after life, probably playing in the snow.

Alice (4 year old American Pit Bull Terrier) is a while other story that still doesn't have an end. My cousin (who is studying to be a veterinarian and is deaf) wanted her with the intention of training her to be a service dog but was in the process of moving to Iowa. Hubby and I were thrilled because being a service dog would mean she can go anywhere and Iowa is cold so it would be great for her allergies (that only flair up in the heat); we just needed a foster home for 1 month until she could get settled in to her new place. Foster home #1: Didn't feel right from the beginning. A family of 4 was looking to foster a dog to show their 2 children how much responsibility it was before making the commitment... I can respect that and thinks it's a pretty good idea, I just didn't realize neither of them ever had a dog before. We drove over an hour to their house and were very honest up front about her medical conditions, her barking and how strong she was and the family was perfectly fine with it until about 2 days later. They emailed my cousin and said she kept having accidents in the house, wasn't eating or taking her meds and barked at everyone and their neighbors did not like a Pit Bull in the area. They didn't want to deal with any adjustment period on Alice's part and just wanted her gone, they did offer to take her to where ever she was going though. Foster #2: Another family member, loves dogs. Seemed like the perfect solution until their resident dog tried to attack Alice not even 30 minutes after she arrived. They brought her to our house as we were literally in the process of moving out on our last day there. Our landlord was nice enough to let us keep her there for 2 nights (Hubby stayed there with her) after which she went to Foster #3. Hubby's manager: A bachelor with dog experience living in Philly, when I dropped her off he told me he did not expect us to take him up on his offer and 2 days later I had to pick her up because she didn't fit his life style. We were out of options and I had to bring her to the shelter. I knew she wouldn't do well there, she's not crate trained so she would hate the cages and special needs dogs don't usually get placed. As I was about to do her intake one of my co-workers found a volunteer who knew someone tat could take in a foster. I waited around for over an hour when she and her kids finally showed up. Foster #4: They had special needs dog experience and seemed nice but again a few days later she called me and said Alice tried to attack one of her cats (which I still don't understand because Alice has lived with cats her whole life). She agreed to keep her one more night since it was later and Minion was sleeping so the next day I picked her up while I was at work and brought her back to the shelter. She was so depressed and it was very hard to see her like that, she's such a bubbly dog normally. The next day she caught another break! A boarding facility the shelter works with previously offered space to a dog with a home that couldn't take them right away. My cousin still wanted her so off she went and her updates said she was doing very well there. Then the airline jacked up her plane ticket to over $500 and said because she is dangerous (based solely on her breed) she needed a special metal kennel that would cost almost $1000, non of us could afford that but my cousin quickly decided that she would just drive the 18 hours here and back to pick Alice up. Now we just need a foster for 1 night on September 27 till the 28th when my cousin gets to town. I refuse to believe it's over until she is safely in Iowa.

As I'm sure you can imagine my stress level has been through the roof lately, all this on top of getting rid of things we no longer have room for and funding a place for the things we can't get rid of (like Halloween and Christmas decorations since our apt complex has no storage). Aside from the lack of space, the apartment isn't too bad, it has a 24 hour gym and a pool I'm pretty sure most of the Philadelphia Soul players live in my building, I guess they don't get paid like the pros (no I'm not at all surprised). It's all just an adjustment, neither one of us really likes change (although I can tolerate it better then he can) so it's been interesting to say the least. My body is also still out of whack from Minion causing me to be extra moody. Poor Hubby, I'm pretty sure I take most of it out on him. I just keep trying to tell myself we only have to stay here a couple years until we can save enough to buy a house of our own, things are already looking up, Hubby has a job interview on Friday. Pray it goes well.

Lose - Lose situation

Today I did something I swore I would never do, I have even been known to judge people for it... I'll think twice next time.

It's no secret the we have a lot of animals (2 big dogs and 4 cats), when I announced I that I was expecting many people's first question was "Are you getting rid of any of the animals?" It always made me really mad, of course I wasn't getting rid of any of them, they are family and I made them a promise to care for them for the rest of their lives. Most of them are rescues (except 2 sibling cats I got from a friend) and had a rough start to life, I never thought anything would make me change my mind. I was wrong.

During my pregnancy one of my cats, Freddie Mercury, started acting different and losing fur. No one has fleas, I tried vitamins & different food but nothing helped. After Minion was born, the hair lose got worse so I took him to the vet. He was tested for ringworm and other skin issues but all came back normal, based on that, his acting out and a few other things the vet (who I trust very much) suggested that he was jealous of Minion. I was very upset and didn't know what to do, I contacted the cat behaviorist at my shelter but none of her suggestions help. We discussed re-homing him but neither of us really wanted to and we also didn't know anyone looking for a cat so we were just dealing with it. Then he started hissing at Minion and I became really concerned, again we discussed re-homing him but still couldn't find anyone.

Then, just a few weeks ago, he scratched Minion on the arm. Minion didn't even notice it and it barely bled but that didn't change the fact that it happened. What if next time it's worse or his face or he bites instead. I can't risk that. I knew I had to bring him to my shelter and hope that someone would adopt him. I waited 10 days so that he would not need to be on a quarantine (which would significantly hinder his chances of getting adopted) and brought him in today. It was such a horrible drive to work with him in the passenger seat next to me meowing to be let out of the carrier. I cried during his entire intake and brought him back to his temporary cage myself, turns out I would be cleaning that room today. I was really upset about it at first but ended up being grateful because I could keep an eye on him and do my best to make sure he was comfortable. I asked he vet tech who was checking cats in (giving them their shots and what not) to please do him so that he could be moved to the adoption room ASAP for the big event we are having this weekend. I was petrified he would be out to sleep since he looks funny with the missing fur and can not go to a home with children. I was glad to be working alone today.

Around 1:30pm a member of our life savings department (they work with rescues to get animals out and run the foster program) came and told me he was being sent to one of our rescue partners. I cried again, I was so happy he was being saved but sad that I would never see him again. Going to a rescue means he won't be out to sleep and has a much better chance at being adopted. When the rescue came to pick him and the other cats they were taking up, I was able to pack him up and say my final goodbye (which of course made me cry AGAIN! He looked so sad and tried to cling to me so I just held him for a little while, but eventually the rescue had to leave so I put him in the carrier, told him I loved him again and wished his well. I also told him to behave so he came find an awesome home with no kids and plenty of affection.

It was a horrible day but I know that I made the right choice for him and Minion. Maybe now he won't be so stressed out and will stopped pulling out his fur. I'm going to think about him forever and hope that he's happy and doesn't think we abandoned him. We did everything we could to try and make it work but it just wasn't happening. My house seems quiet without him even with the other animals. I hope this is something I will never have to go through again.