vaginal vs. c-section

Let me start this post by saying this is purely my opinion and I am not judging anyone for their decision.

When I found out I was pregnant I was so excited at the thought of giving birth (no not the pain just the act) and was really hoping to go natural. Part of it was because after watching too much Discovery Channel I was petrified to have a c-section; part because I just wanted to have that feeling that I did it all by myself (to an extent of course, I did go to the hospital for the birth). After my water breaking, 22 hours of labor, caving into the epidural, dilating to 10 cm and pushing for 3 hours my dream bubble was burst. Minion was just not having any parts of coming out and I ended up with an emergency c-section. He's stubborn just like his Mama and didn't give a crap about the eviction notice my body served him with. Now I have to admit it was not nearly as bad as I expected but it still hurt like nothing else I've ever felt afterwards. I was lucky enough to have Hubby for the first week and the his brother stayed with us for 2 weeks after that and was a huge help as well. All in all Minion and I are just fine (aside from the forever itching yet numb scar I have just below the belt that can't be scratched in public) and I am hoping to be able to have a V-BAC in the future.

With that said, I recently had a conversation with a pregnant Mama I know who is 32 weeks along, she was telling me that they are taking the baby a week early due to her age and such. I asked if they were inducing her and she so no, they were going to schedule a c-section and she was happy about it, she said she gave birth vaginally 10 years ago and does not need to go through it again, she just wants the baby out. Now like I said, no judgement at all, it's her body and she can do as she pleases but it did upset me personally. I would have given anything to deliver my son vaginally, I begged to make surgery a last resort (and had a doctor awesome enough to to wait as long as he possibly could). It still bothers me to this day that I didn't get that moment and Hubby didn't get to cut the cord, I know it wasn't anyone's fault and it could not be helped but I still get choked up about it. Of course I didn't say any of this out loud to the Mama, I kept it all inside so she wouldn't think I was looking down at her for her choice but I noticed that I did end the conversation sooner then I might have if her choice was different.

I guess this just goes right along with "we always want what we can't have". I don't think any woman's choice is wrong, I have my opinions and everyone else has theirs and that's OK. I never thought it would bother me so much to talk to a woman who chose a c-section though... this conversation was days ago and I still can't get it out of my mind. At the end of the day I'm just happy to have a healthy baby boy who I am able to breastfeed and looks at me like no one else in the world exists. Seeing him light up when I get home from work almost make going to work worth it. Sometimes the things I think about and feel strongly about since I became a Mom amaze and surprise me.

Promotion!!!

7 1/2 years ago I started down the path to become an animal control officer/animal cruelty investigator, I have taken more classes then I can remember and put out a lot of money along the way. I was offered a job a few times with the same independent contractor in my county but he managed to screw me over 3 times (fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me, I'm pretty sure 3 times just makes me desperate), I was about to give up and started thinking about going back to school for something else when I caught a break. A big city animal shelter offered me a job as a dispatcher for their animal control department, it was only supposed to be part time but again I caught a break and very quickly moved to full time. While it wasn't the job I wanted and I was pretty sure I would hate it (I'm not one for desk jobs) it was a foot in the door so I took it.

About 6 months went by when a spot for an officer opened up...I jumped on it and handed in my resume extremely hopeful since I already worked in the department and had so much schooling, but 2 days later I found out I was pregnant with Minion so I went to my boss to pull my resume. It was very bittersweet at the time but I would not have changed a thing and to my surprise I actually really liked being a dispatcher.

Fast forward to this past January, another position opened up after months of my boss giving someone a chance over and over, finally he was just fired and it was over with. What seemed like weeks later (maybe it as) they posted the position as open, I was waiting in my bosses office to hand in my resume (which was in my locker) before she even finished putting the notices up around the building. 5 people applied, we all had our interviews and took a test (yeah I'm serious)over a month went by with no word of who was being hired...a second person was even fired in the mean time, I was starting to get discouraged, I just wanted to know if it was me or not. Well, yesterday after a very busy shift and no pump break (very painful by the way I don't recommend it) my boss pulled me aside and told me the job was mine!!!! I have not been given a start date yet since now she needs to replace me (which she only has a few weeks to do since she is 32 weeks pregnant).

I'm not sure it has completely sunk in yet... I've been after this job for so long and she told me at the beginning of my 3 day weekend, it just doesn't seem real. I will no longer be stuck at a desk as the shelters permanent vampire (I have only worked night shift for the past year and a half), I finally get to be more hands on with the animal rescuing, I may also have the opportunity to work the over night shift which means more time with Minion and less time for him with the babysitter. It's going to be rough I'm sure and I will probably be ore tired since I'll only be able to sleep when Hubby is home and Minion is napping but it's more money too and honestly, just spending those extra hours with him is enough to make me say yes. The only part of 3rd shift I am not looking forward to is disposing of our deceased, I'm not a fan of what we do and it borderline goes against my beliefs but I am 99% sure I'm going to suck it up and deal with it so I can enjoy the benefits. As a bonus, I'll have plenty of time to read on the 3rd shift.

Wish me luck!!!!!

To Easter Bunny or not? ...that is the question.

I can't decide whether or not to take Minion to see the Easter Bunny, we saw Santa but Easter has just never been that big of a thing for me. I don't do the whole church thing and I honestly don't remember my Mom doing much more then getting me a chocolate bunny. Hubby is no help, he says it's up to me. For some reason it just seems silly to me. At least with Santa the point is to tell him what you want for Christmas and he asks if you have been good this year... What's the point in sitting on the Bunny's lap? Is there a purpose I've never been made aware of? I do plan on putting a basket together for him (no candy of course, mostly toys since he is a baby) and of course we will do egg hunts and dying when he gets older but I don't think I need pictures of him with a giant Bunny. Am I weird? I don't see how I could possibly regret passing on this photo op but like the title says, I am a first time mom. I'd much rather get pictures of him in cute clothes and/or gDiapers and doing normal baby things then a picture that will go out once a year (maybe since I don't decorate for Easter like I do Halloween and Christmas), at least then I can put it in the ever growing pile of pictures to hang on the wall. Speaking of, I should probably talk to my photographer about his 9 and 12 month pictures. This brings up the question of what happens when your child figures out there is no Santa, no Easter Bunny and no Tooth Fairy. Will they hate you? There seem to be a lot of Moms in a few online groups I belong to that think it will damage a kid to find out that their parents lied to them their whole life and then they may have a nervous break down at the age of 9 (or whatever age they find out, I just went with the average of me and my siblings). I must have missed the memo that I was supposed to freak out because when I figured it out at 7-8 years old I was not crushed or mad and I didn't freak out on my parents, I don't even think I told them I knew, I just went with it. When my siblings were born I didn't ruin things for them, I thought it was fun. My Dad just told me this past year that when we were little he and my Step Mom would give us all the gifts from Santa first and then the gifts from them so that when we found out it would still give us something to look forward to. With my Mom, she always went with "Santa doesn't wrap gifts" so the wrapped presents were from her making it more fun (now you know how I figured it out). I pretty sure I never believed in the Easter Bunny but I could be wrong and I found out about the Tooth Fairy after only a couple teeth fell out. (Mom had a mug with a few 50 cent pieces in it that she didn't know I was fascinated by, I found one under my pillow and one was missing from the mug...not rocket science.) Minion will definitely be brought up with fictional characters and I'm not worried one bit about him hating me later in life about it. I've never heard of someone freaking out on the world because there is no Santa, after all, there is still a special magic in the air around Christmas time (unless you work in a liquor store, then its 6-8 weeks of Hell. I guess most retail jobs might be the same). Why is it only Santa and the Easter Bunny we get pictures with? Why is there no giant leprechaun sitting in the middle of the mall for St. Patrick's Day or some scary Halloween-ish figure for Halloween? Who decided on which characters were more photogenic? Now I'm not saying all of these should be mall photo ops I'm just curious how Santa and the Bunny made the cut. At the end of the day, I think I'm going to pass on the Bunny. I hope I don't kick myself later but I really doubt I will.

First Play Date...

...was a bust. A friend of mine has a son who is just under a month older then Minion and invited us over. Minion has seen other babies before but has never really been able to play with them, since he is mobile now I thought it would be the perfect time for his first play date. As you know from my post the other day he has not been sleeping recently but has still been pretty pleasant during the day so I thought nothing if it. Well he fell asleep in the car on the way there (nothing unusual) and woke up as soon as we got in the door (also not unusual), he started fussing to get out of the car seat but never stopped. I couldn't put him down, he didn't want to play, he cried when I gave him lunch... he was a mess and very un-Minion like. My friend's baby on the other hand was great, didn't want to share but he's a baby so that's to be expected. I felt so bad, he ended up falling asleep in my arms before we left. We plan to get them together again soon, hopefully Minion will be on a better mood.

He and Minion are so close in age, 25 days apart, but it was neat to see the differences in what they can do. Her son is an expert crawler and can walk with help, he also loves to play by himself with toys while Minion just learned to crawl and pull himself up. Until this weekend he never really played with anything that was not his precious rings, maybe he saw the other baby playing and realized what he was supposed to do because now he is all about his toys. It's adorable to see him so interested in things, he loves his Disney train and blocks. He's also been chasing fat cat Monkey around and climbing on senior dog, Deuce... both have been taking it like a champ, I'm so proud of them, I was a bit worried.

AND HE SLEPT SATURDAY NIGHT! All night! It was wonderful, he slept Sunday night too, Monday however he went to sleep, got up a few hours later and stayed up but was extremely pleasant all day. We played almost all day, I love that baby...he's so stinking cute!

Mama Madness Giveaway

Lets celebrate Mama this March with a Mama Madness giveaway hop!

Over $400 worth of prizes and 2 people will win. 

Hosted by So Sew Mama

Thank you to my Co-Hosts: Spaceships and Laser Beams and A Taste of Something Unimaginable

One winner will receive the package below!

 A wonderfully organic gift set from Stripped Soap Co. Shea Body Butter, Diaper Cream Castile Soap,  Aloe, Calendula, and Kaolin Clay Soap

This elegant birthstone bracelet will make a big, bold statement. Choose your birthstone and your kids initial. Courtesy of DLaPaix

Teething Bling!  This is such an adorably stylish way to keep any babies attention. Bright, bold and beautiful. Win one of your own! 

One in stock cloth diaper from MICHELLDESIGN

ChubbyBaby Romper. You can find my review here. Perfect for any little girl. (review)

Mommy and me hat set from Marlows Gift Cottage.

Maternity Gown by Mommie Moxie (not pictured).

One winner will receive these amazing prizes below!

A New Baby Gift Set from Branwens Botanicals  organic baby bum spritz organic natural nipple butter organic diaper balm branwens botanicals

My Feeding Friend Nursing Plush Pillow (review)

In stock Drammy Droppers (review)

A Custom Made Diaper from Two Hip Peaz in a Pod

3 sets of Swircles Nursing Pads.

Changing Pad cover from Mommie Moxie.

Fleece Diaper Cover from londonware

Custom cut chenille blanket by LynneSellers

$25 Gift Certificate to HoneyBeeHolistics

Giveaway Time
Dates: March 1 - 20
Grand Prize at For Him and My family!!

Please read: Terms & Conditions: open to residents of the US. Must be 18 years or older. Void where prohibited by. Winning depends on the total number of eligible entries received. Once the winners has been selected and contacted, winners will have 48 hours to respond or new winners will be selected. 
Good Luck!
a Rafflecopter giveaway

**Disclosure: So Sew Mama and Epic Tales of a First Time Mom are not responsible for sponsor prize fulfillment. We were not compensated for this post. Some of the items noted above were received for review purposes. All opinion are 100% my own.

Anti-Sleep Campaign

For the last 4 days Minion has decided he's not going to sleep at night even though he is exhausted, instead he wants to stay up and climb all over Mommy and Daddy like a jungle gym. I'm not sure if it's teething or just excitement that he knows how to get around not but it's not going well for me and Hubby. He's only angry when we try to make him lay down, put him in the pack n' play or put him in the swing; I know he is tired because he will close his eyes and doze off for a minute or two but then wake right back up and cry because he can't play. I try nursing him and he falls asleep but wakes right up as soon as you move him. He is finally going to sleep around 8am in his swing but only for 3-4 hours which means that's all the sleep I get and Hubby isn't getting much more.

I'm beginning to wonder if it's because my vacation is over... He had me all to himself for over a week and this started right after I went back to work. Is that possible? Could my 8 month old really think that way already or is he just becoming an insomniac? I have off for the next 3 days so I guess we will find out. If that is the case now I feel really horrible for putting him through that but I can't change things do how do I get him back on a schedule? I'm not a fan of letting a baby cry it out (CIO) at all but I tried to let him go just for a few minutes at Hubby's request and not only was it heartbreaking but it didn't work, the only thing it accomplished was making Mommy upset too.

Last night I asked the babysitter to keep him awake as much as possible, he slept for a little bit after he got there and then fell asleep on the way home. I had planned to give him a bath followed by some sleepy time lotion but due to circumstances beyond my control I left work half an hour late and was too tired...I know that kind of seems counter productive but I just couldn't do it. Tonight I should be leaving on time and will try again, I'm hoping Hubby was able to keep him up most of the night. We shall see. I might be a zombie by the time this weekend is over, on the plus side thought my cold is almost completely gone.

Kids...gotta love them. Good thing he's so darn cute.